


What has all this to do with love?

by queen_ypolita



Category: The Charioteer - Renault
Genre: 100-1000 Words, Gen, The Phaedrus, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-06
Updated: 2006-09-06
Packaged: 2017-10-04 13:50:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_ypolita/pseuds/queen_ypolita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Andrew had asked what the myth of charioteer had to do with love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What has all this to do with love?

**Author's Note:**

> A late what-if offering for MR birthday fic challenge at [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/maryrenaultfics/profile)[**maryrenaultfics**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/maryrenaultfics/) in 2006. And my first ever TC fic.

_And now, thought Laurie, he will ask at any moment, "But what has all this to do with love?"_

Andrew listened to Laurie explaining the myth of the charioteer, enjoying the sound of his voice, almost forgetting to listen to the words. The earlier guarded expression on Laurie's face had disappeared, to be replaced by genuine animation. The book must mean more to Laurie than he had realised at first, he reflected, turning the blood-stained book in his hands.

"… The god driving his well-matched greys is ahead setting the pace; he drives up to a track which encircles the heavens, and is carried round with eternity as it spins, like—"

"… Like a great ring of pure and endless light," Andrew interrupted without thinking.

Laurie smiled and said something about Vaughn. Andrew looked down at the book in his lap and frowned, had he missed something?

"So, this myth of the charioteer, what does it have to do with love?"

Laurie didn't reply immediately and it was his silence that made Andrew finally look up.

"What do you mean?" Laurie asked, avoiding his eyes.

"You said the speeches were about love. How does the idea of the soul as a charioteer fit in with it?" He paused. "Am I asking too many questions? I am, I'm sorry."

"No, no. Well, when a man is attracted to someone, the beautiful, gentle white horse is the part of him that wants to take it slow, get to know the beloved better, become friends…. The scruffy black horse is the part of him that feels lust, can't wait to possess hi… the beloved." Laurie cleared his throat. "Of course, this is now a simplified explanation, Socrates explains it beautifully."

Andrew's gaze returned to the book in his hands. He sensed Laurie was holding something back, and it wouldn't be a good idea to ask him to read the passage out loud. He felt resentful and wondered what was so special about this book that Laurie felt he couldn't be trusted with. Yet Laurie had made a vague reference to catching up for Oxford, maybe that was why but somehow he didn't think so.

He opened the blood-stained book carefully, and his impression that it was well read as well as well loved strengthened.

"You must have had this quite a while," he said, slightly surprised.

"Yes, I had it at school. And it followed me to war."

"It must mean a lot to you. Can I borrow it?"

"Yes but… I'd better try to clean it up a bit first, it's really too filthy for lending."

"You needn't for me," Andrew said, knowing Laurie's reply meant no.

They were silent. Andrew turned the page and saw a name on the title page. It wasn't Laurie's.

"Ralph Ross Lanyon," he read out loud and sensed rather than saw that Laurie jumped. Looking up, he saw the guarded expression had returned. He felt a sting he couldn't explain but was too curious about Laurie's reaction to examine it now.

Laurie volunteered some information but Andrew didn't pay too much attention to the answers. He was tired and after having his cigarette he settled down for a nap. Afterwards, he wasn't sure how long he slept. It felt as if he had been on the brink of a realisation when he woke up but at first he wasn't sure what it was. It was something Laurie had said… cannot wait to possess him. Except Laurie had corrected himself mid-word. So that was what he had been trying to protect Andrew from, knowledge of Greek love. He remembered veiled references to it from school, mentions of Greek vices and unspeakable habits. But it still didn't make any sense… Laurie had made an attempt to gloss over it, but Andrew knew it wasn't because he had felt it wasn't something one didn't bring up in the company of relative strangers. The reasons were more personal, he was sure of it.

He couldn't find words to describe what he felt at the thought.


End file.
